Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Five Questions I Wish People Would Stop Asking


The older I get the more easily annoyed I become.  Few are things more annoying than people asking questions that are none of their business.  People don’t mean to be rude.  They usually are just curious or want to engage in conversation.  I hate to sound like the grumpy, middle-aged woman, but a there are a few questions I will no longer answer so don’t bother to ask.

Five questions to stop asking me

1.  Where are you from?

People ask me this because I have a speech impairment and they can’t quite figure out why.  They assume I am from some place exotic that they have never heard of, but the reality is I speak the way I hear.  I don’t hear all the sounds of the alphabet, so I don’t pronounce them all.  When you ask where they are from it distracts from the conversation.  If someone wants to share why they speak in a different dialect they will.  If they don’t, assume they don’t want to talk about it.

2.  Do you know sign language?

Another question referring to my hearing impairment.  I don’t know sign language and it’s silly to assume all people who wearing hearing aids know sign language.  I’m not a representative for the entire hard-of-hearing community because I wear hearing aids.  Not every person whose last name is Gomez knows Spanish.  We shouldn’t assume people know things by association.

3.  Are you planning to have another baby?

I am turning fifty this year.  50.  I don’t know anyone who is pregnant at fifty, do you?  This is such a silly question.  I suppose I should be flattered that people think I look young enough to have another baby at my old age, but I’m not flattered.  I have no plans to have another baby in my life unless it’s grandchild.  By the way, I don’t miss having a girl either (another annoying question).

4.  Will you adopt another pet?

The answer to this question is no.  My sweet dog passed away not long ago and I miss her.  But my husband and I made the decision before she died that we wouldn’t have any new pets in our life.  We have a snake and fish and when they die they won’t be replaced.  People love their pets and find the idea of not having them in their home difficult to grasp.  I have enough responsibilities.  I don’t want the responsibility of an animal.  I have friends and family who have chosen not to have children and my husband and I have chosen no more pets.  It’s not happening folks.

5.  Have you gone through menopause?

I was asked this question yesterday by someone I hardly knew.  I didn’t answer.  I supposed she assumed I was because I refused to talk about my hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, and memory loss.  Really?  Is this an appropriate question to ask someone you don’t know?  Why would I share such a personal thing?  By the way, I am premenopausal if you must know.  Things are still happening, but not as often.  This conversation is officially over.

I’m sure you have questions that bother you when asked.  Things like, “Are you pregnant?”, “Have you considered plastic surgery?”, “Do you plan like being married?”, and “Does it bother you that you aren’t as thin as you used to be?”  Hopefully, when you are asked these awkward questions you handle them with grace because I no longer do.

As a middle age woman I see it as my right to no longer answer questions that make me uncomfortable.  Please keep this in mind when you meet me in person.  I will however always answer how old I am.  I’m proud of my age and will always answer the question the same way…

I am 49 years old, so don’t mess with me.








Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

6 thoughts on “Five Questions I Wish People Would Stop Asking

  1. Haha – love this! And who in their right mind would ask you #5?? Hopefully, you never have to see this person again.
    If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone. My first marriage was an interracial one. Perfect strangers used to ask me if my children were my children or if I was the nanny. My second marriage is to a woman, and I’ve been asked which of us is the husband. People are idiots. Best to you!

  2. At 35, my tack is the same. I’m 7.5 months pregnant and get asked the same questions over and over by strangers. My husband says they’re just trying to be nice. I tell him nice would be smiling and not trying to engage a stranger in the se conversation a dozen other people daily try to have. Regardless of intent, I owe no one right of answer to their intrusive questions, and their indignation when I say so is not my concern. The good thing I am taking from all of this is being more sensitive in the kinds of questions I ask, if any at all. It’s more comfortable to let someone offer up what they will!

  3. Smile…. Sing it sister

  4. I hate it when people ask me if we’re having another baby “so you can get your girl.” Ugh!! Um, no — as if one can simply select the gender and hit go. And good Lord, really!?!? Number 5. Menopause?! Seriously, the nerve of people!

  5. haha. Love the ending!
    Normally I sidestep the question and turn the question back to the asker or reply with something different and change the topic. Some people are persistent and I end up telling them I’d rather not answer their question but most people get the hint.

  6. I’m nearing the stage of life where I will simply tell people, “that’s a rude thing to ask.” I just have to work up the nerve!

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