Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Don’t You Dare


A conversation between a mother, a father, two teenagers, a little boy, and a neighbor.

“Boys!  Stop yelling.  I mean it.  Be quiet you will disturb the neighbors.” – Mother

Mother closes the windows.

“Nate, what are you doing?  Why are you closing the window?  It is ninety degrees in here.  Are you nuts?” – Father

“I’m embarrassed.  I don’t want the neighbors to hear the boys fighting.  I would rather sweat, than have the whole world hear my kids screaming at each other.” – Mother

“That’s ridiculous.  No one can hear the boys fighting.” – Father

Knock on the door.  Mother looks at father.  Mother looks out the window and sees neighbor at the door.

“Oh my God.  See, I told you!” – Mother whispers to father.

Mother opens the door

“Um, hello.  We are so sorry about the noise.  You know how it is, with three boys.  Things get loud sometimes.  It has been very hot and we are all a bit grumpy.  I hope you understand.  We will try to be much more quiet.  Don’t you worry.” – Mother

“Oh.  Thanks for letting me know, but I only came over to tell you I am going to remove a wasp nest from the backyard.  You may want to bring the dog inside, so she won’t get stung.  By the way, we have air conditioning.  We don’t hear a thing.” – Neighbor

“Oh.  I see.  Thank you for letting us know.” – Mother

Mother closes front door.

“It sure is hot in here. I think I will open the windows.” – Mother

Mother opens windows.  Father opens mouth to say something.

“Don’t you dare.” – Mother

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

15 thoughts on “Don’t You Dare

  1. Whoops. What about the wasps?
    Don’t you have air conditioning?

  2. laughing out loud at this one….

  3. Too funny Nate I had a similar experience myself. Thanks for the good laugh!!

  4. I wouldn’t worry about your kids fighting, have you SEEN how kids behave in public these days? (says the grumpy old lady) It is downright horrific. I saw two little boys duking it out in the grocery store the other day. Down and dirty fighting. . . the mom was oblivious, chatting on her phone, shopping, and in her own world.

  5. I love these little glimpses into your life. Thank you for sharing them with us, I have nominated you for the Lovely Blog Award. You can collect it here
    Blessings to you!

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