The other day a friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook.
Here it is.
People post quotes all the time on Facebook. I do it myself. However, this quote got more than a nod in agreement from me. It changed my thinking.
This quote has three important life lessons in it. Each lesson is something I have struggled with. The three ideas put together and understood make a powerful statement.
When people walk away from you… let them go…
Being able to let go is hard for me. If the person is someone I no longer have much in common with, I still find it difficult to let them leave. I do not like rejection. When someone leaves I feel unworthy. I think to myself, “Why would they want to leave? Why am I not special enough for them to want to stay?”
My thinking is egotistical. I assume the reason a person leaves is because of something I have done. I focus on how I could have changed things to make the outcome different. Often, I do not take into account the other person has their own feelings and thoughts. It is all about how I feel and how I think.
The first lesson from the quote is to let go. Do not chase after someone who does not want to be with you. Take your ego out of the situation. Give the other person the choice to choose what they want for their life. Accept their choice may not include you.
Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it does not mean they are bad people.
In a situation where someone leaves, there is always a bad guy. It is the person who leaves. Good people do not leave, unless it is a life or death situation. Bad guys leave because they are selfish, at least that is the most common thinking.
However, when I read this sentence I realized all sorts of people leave. Some good people leave to reclaim happiness. Leaving someone behind does not mean the person wishes to do harm. Perhaps they go to make their life better. I do wish everyone to have a happy life, even if it means I may not be a part of it.
It just means your part of the story is over.
This is the most powerful statement in the quote. Stories end. Sometimes the endings are happy and other times not. Each person has a story to live. When I read this sentence I realized if a person is no longer in my life, maybe it was supposed to be that way. Like a character being taken out from of a book. Maybe the need for the character has served it’s purpose and is no longer necessary.
The challenge I have is allowing the story to end, to be over. I find myself wanting to change or alter the ending, so I it will end the way I want it. Again, my thinking is egotistical. Other people have life stories to live. Having me as a part of it may not be in their plan.
The quote has brought me peace. It has allowed me a way to deal with the pain of someone leaving, without feeling overwhelmed by rejection and sadness. They are simply done being part of my life story.
I will always leave my life story book open though. You never know when someone may want to return and be a new chapter in my life…again.