Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

How Hard Can It Be?


A conversation between a mother, a father, two teenage boys and a little boy.

Mother in kitchen cooking dinner.  Mother calls out to the father.

“Honey, will you watch the stove?  I need to go to the bathroom.  I will be right back.” – Mom

Mother enters restroom.

Whoa!  @#$%!  What the %$&@?  Yuck!  Is that pee on the floor?  Who peed on the floor and didn’t bother to clean it up?  Hey, is anyone listening to me?  Gross.  My sock is wet.  Hello?” – Mom (yelling)

Mother removes wet sock from foot and stomps out into the kitchen.

“Someone peed on the floor.  I stepped in pee.” – Mom

“I heard.  Nice swearing.  Sorry that happened.” –  Dad

“Was it you?  Did you pee on the floor?” – Mom

“No.  How can you ask that?” – Dad

“Well, someone did and they better clean it up.” – Mom

Mom takes off wet sock and stomps into the family room.  Three boys are laying on the couch.

Hey, who peed on the floor and didn’t clean it up?” – Mom

“Not me.” – Old Boy

“Not me.” – Tall Boy

“Not me.” – Little Boy

Well, it sure wasn’t me.  I know how to pee in the toilet.  But apparently you boys do not.  Really, after all this time.  How can you not make the pee go into the toilet?  You have all been trained how to do it.  It’s simple.  Maybe we need another review of the steps.” – Mom

“No, Mom.  We do not need you…a girl, telling us how to pee.  Stop this conversation please.” – Old Boy

“Come on.  How hard can it be to make the pee go into the toilet and not on the floor?  You lift the seat, pull you pants down, take hold, aim, release, wait, tap a few times and pull you pants up.  I think someone must be losing focus.  Remember to look at the toilet when you pee.  Do not look around.  Stay focused.” – Mom

“I am out of here.” – Old Boy

Me too.” – Tall Boy

“Me too.” – Little Boy

Hey, come back here!  No one confessed to the crime!  Who did it?  Who did it?” – Mom

“Honey, would you like a glass of wine?” – Dad

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

11 thoughts on “How Hard Can It Be?

  1. Grrr. I have 3 little boys and a “man-boy” – I’m out numbered. “gotta pee mom!” – ” GET IT IN THE TOILET PLEASE!”

  2. Oh dear. This sounds tooooo familiar!

  3. Some comments:
    1. Your toilet is sparkling clean – excellent job!
    2. Your directions on how a boy should pee is hilarious especially the tip to stay focused and not look away from the toilet
    3. I am not looking forward to potty training my son in a year or two.

  4. I love these little conversations!

  5. My wife caught me peeing int he shower once so I tried to finish in the toilet. From the shower. That was a mess.

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