Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Replay – Conversations – The Birds and the Bees

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Final day of looking back at my first year of Insanity of Motherhood.  Of all the blogs I write, the conversations are my favorite.  I started writing the daily discussions of my family on Facebook and that is why friends encouraged my to start a blog.

My three boys are very verbal.  I am very verbal.  Strange how someone like me, who does not hear very well, talks all the time.  My family and I talk a lot.  We all like to be heard.  The dinner table often becomes a battle ground for whose story of the day, gets to be told first.

Today’s blog is conversation I had with the teenage boys about sex education.  I am not squeamish at all about talking to the boys about sex.  The boys on the other hand can think of nothing worse.

The Birds and the Bees

“Sex education may be a good idea in schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.”- Bill Cosby

The school year is finishing up and I am glad. But it is not over yet.  We have the spring exhibition this week and then sex education classes.

Driving in the car I asked my big boys if Sex Ed had been taught this year.

“Boys, have you had your Sex Ed classes yet?” – Mom

“Not us.  And hopefully we won’t ever have it.” – Tall Boy

“Oh, you are going to have Sex Ed buddy.  They usually teach it at the end of the year, just to make the kids crazy.” – Old Boy

“Well, I am not going to the class….no way!  We had it in fifth grade and it was the horrible.” – Tall Boy

“You better be prepared.  It’s worse in sixth grade.  The teachers go into a lot more details about stuff.” – Old Boy

“Details?  What do you mean details.   Like what?” – Mom

“Well, you know stuff about relationships, being ready for sex and birth control.  You know, stuff like that.” – Old Boy.

“Birth control?  Oh, Jeez.  Did they talk birth control for men and women or just women?” – Mom

“They talked about birth control for men, Mom.  Jeez, guys have sex too.” – Old Boy

“Thank you for the lovely reminder. I think I figured that part out.  Do they talk about condoms?  Do they show different types of birth control?  Have you ever seen a condom?” – Mom

“MOM!” – Tall Boy and Old Boy.

“What?  This is an important conversation.  We have talked about sex plenty of times before.  I want you boys to feel comfortable about talking to me about these things.  By the way, if you need to look at a condom, Dad has some at home.” – Mom

“Oh, God!  Mom, we not want to hear about you and Dad.  Come on!  And I do not want to see a condom.  Please get me out of the car.” – Tall Boy

“You know my mother did not say one word about the ‘birds and the bees’.  I had to learn everything from my friends.” – Mom

“Grandma was a smart lady.  I do not want to talk about this with you Mom, at least not driving in the car to school.  Let’s end this conversation…now…please!” – Old Boy

When I was young I always wished my mom had taken a little more time to explain how the whole sex thing worked.  I had Sex Ed in sixth grade, but  it only covered a  bit about the female time of the month and showed some side views of male and female parts.  Which by the way, were VERY interesting.  Sex Ed did not answer the question I wanted answered, so I asked my teacher.

“Mrs. Shell?  I was wondering.  What does it feel like to have sex?  It must feel good right?  Otherwise, why would anyone do it? – Young Nate ( inquisitive sixth grader)

“Well…um…that is an interesting question.  I, uh, well I mean….it does not really matter what it feels like when you are love.” – Mrs. Shell  (a conservative, shocked and bewildered  teacher)

I let the conversation about Sex Ed with my boys end.  They will be having their Sex Ed classes in a few days.  I am sure the agony of talking with mom about sex, will be replaced with the torture of hearing their teachers talk about it.   If the boys ever have questions about anything I’ll be ready, even how it feels to have sex.  I’ll just make sure when it comes to the mechanics, to direct them to my in-house expert, my husband.

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

2 thoughts on “Replay – Conversations – The Birds and the Bees

  1. My mother, a nurse, gave me a booklet when I got my first period. Discussion about sex? never.

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