Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Would You Mind Keeping Your Emotions to Yourself?

2 Comments

Sadness

Image via Wikipedia

“Our emotional symptoms are precious sources of life and individuality.” – Thomas Moore

Last week when I had my mini-meltdown spelling situation, everyone was very supportive.  I did not write the blog to generate support, but am grateful.  I noticed some people were uncomfortable with me sharing my sad emotions.  It seemed that everyone was concerned about my well-being.  Wondering if I would be okay.

I am over the spelling thing, way over.  It was a moment of embarrassment, quickly fixed by perspective from my son.  But apparently, some people need more time to recover.

“Oh, Nate.  How are you?  I was so sorry to hear about your mini- meltdown  situation last week.  Are you okay now?  You poor thing.” – Friend

“Excuse me?  What do you mean my situation?” – Me

“Oh, you know.  The one where you spelled your blog wrong and broke down crying.  So hard isn’t it?” – Friend

“What?  How did you hear about that?” – Me

“Nate, I read your blog.  I hope you are feeling better.” – Friend

Sure, I told the world about feeling sorry for myself.  But that was days ago. I am over it now.  I began to wonder if I had done the right thing telling people about my vulnerable state.

Sharing sadness is easy for me.  I am good as sharing disappointment, confusion and unhappiness.  I have no trouble expressing the various states of my mood on a given day.  I have always been this way.

If I had written about my mini-meltdown situation with an angry tone, I think I would have gotten a very different response.  People love a good fight.  Well, there wasn’t any fighting in this case, but anger is a much more manageable emotion to handle.  Let me share what my blog would have been like with an angry theme.

“Hi Honey, I found three errors on  your blog today.” – Husband (informing)

“What?  Stupid spell check.  It makes me crazy.  How am I supposed to write if I have to worry about the spell check not working” – Me (irritated)

“No problem Honey.  Okay, here they are.  Are you ready?” – Husband (directing)

“This stinks.  I bust my @$$ on the blog and now I have to waste my time going back to check spelling errors.  Give me a break.  You know what?  I am going to forget about the stupid spelling.  Who cares?  If people are going to be spelling snobs reading my blog, then I say, “take a hike.” – Me ( yelling)

See what I mean.  I bet after reading that you are ready to pick a fight with someone.  Expressing anger seems rough.  We like tough people.  Tough guys are the ones who get things done.  They don’t wallow in self-pity.  They wave their fists and shout to the world. “It’s not my fault.  You stupid jerk, get out of my way!”  Anger creates energy.  It’s negative energy, but still, it gets people moving.

The thing about anger is it often places blame on other people.  If you think of a recent situation that made you angry, it will likely be because someone has done something to you.  Anger releases responsibility for our actions.

Expressing sadness is different.  Hearing a painful experience is draining.  Suddenly, we feel sad ourselves.  We lose our momentum to get things done.  We start to feel hopeless, helpless, and powerless.  Listening to pain is uncomfortable.  We feel a strong need to help fix the situation, even if there is nothing we can do.

Expressing emotions makes me feel better.  I feel more capable to take on life when I share my feelings.   Once I share my emotion I move on.  I realize a lot of people do not understand.

Don’t worry about me folks.  I am probably not more emotional than you, only more vocal about it.  I am okay…really.

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

2 thoughts on “Would You Mind Keeping Your Emotions to Yourself?

  1. I was brought up never to express anger. So sometimes, tears come instead. Not appropriate, but better than no emotion. And it doesn’t mean I’m an emotional wreck. It just means I need a minute.

  2. Pingback: Leadership Thought #236 – Drop The Mask And Be Real « Ed Robinson's Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s