Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Answer the #$% Phone


“Did you know that, if you visualise, you can actually hug on
the phone?” – Shelly Long

My friend called last night and I did not speak with her.  I told my son to tell her I was busy.  I was busy, but what I should have done is return her phone call.  She subscribes to my blog, so I am sure she will read this blog before she gets a call.  Am I a rude person?  Do I not like my friend anymore?  Do I despise the phone?  Let’s take a moment to find out.

First of all, I love my friend.  She knows it.  Second of all, I am rude sometimes, but I was not last night.  I was busy doing housework and caring for the little guy, so hubby could re-cauk the tub.  See, I could not make stuff like that up.  And third, I LOVE the phone.

The phone and I have a good relationship.  She (all phones are female) and I go way back.  As a matter of fact, Phone has always been one of my dearest friends.  But lately, she is getting neglected.  It is not because I do not love her, but she takes up a lot of time.  Sad, but true.  All phones, take time and time is something I seem to be lacking these days.

To someone who knows me well, they may be thinking, “You are home all the time.  What do you mean you do not have time to talk on the phone?”  Okay, first of all being home all the time does not mean I am sitting around doing nothing.  Second of all, I do want to talk on the phone…I really do.  In fact, I am more likely to give some one a phone call before and email or text message.

The problem is the kids.  Yup.  Those darn kids.  Prior to the kids, I would spend hours talking to my friends and family about all sorts of stuff.  But nowadays, if the phone even rings, my kids have a radar system that signals them to come and bother me.

“Ring, ring, ring” – Phone

“Hello.  Oh, Ethel. (fake name) Wow, it has been so long.  Great to hear from you.” – Me

“Mom, Mom, Mom,  Mom, do you hear me?”- Tall Boy

“Momma, will you help me find my Lego dude.  You know the one with the small green hat.” – Little Boy

“Mom, can I have a friend over today?”- Old Boy

“Excuse me Ethel.  Boys, you can see I am on the phone.  Please do not bother me unless it is an emergency.  Go ahead Ethel.” – Me

“Mom, it is an emergency.  I think we are out of butter.  How am I supposed to make toast without butter?” – Tall Boy

“Hey, I was talking to Mom first.  Mom, I know you are on the phone, but you said I could have a friend over and now it is getting late.  I need to make a phone call.” – Old Boy

“Momma, what is an ‘ergency’?  I need that Lego guy now.” – Little Boy

“I took that Lego dude.  He is mine to begin with and you did not ask to borrow it.” – Tall Boy

“Wahhhh.  I want the Lego dude.  I want the dude!” – Little Boy

“Mom, are you going to be on the phone long?” – Old Boy

“Excuse me again Ethel.  Boys, I am on the PHONE!  Please wait until I am done for all these questions.” – Me

“Ouch.   He bit me!  Mom, he bit me.” – Tall Boy

“I want that Lego dude!” – Little Boy

“Stop it you guys.   Can’t you see Mom is on the phone.  Mom, are you almost done? ” – Old Boy

“Ethel, I will have to call you back later.” – Me

That is a perfect example of what happens when the phone rings.  As a matter of fact, it only happens with the phone.  Not when I am on the computer.  Not when I am paying bills.  And never when I am folding laundry.  It makes me nuts.  I want nothing more than to be able to chit-chat with friends and family.

The only way to do it is to pop in  a video or wait until my husband comes home.  Videos do not happen very often and my husband is only home for  a few hours at night.  When my husband is home he has things to do  and so I.  Talking, I mean getting into  a good conversation, takes time.  Time to discuss all the important things in life.  Sure, an email can get a message or two across, but it is not the same as hearing the person’s voice.  Nothing beats having a good laugh with a friend or telling a family member some exciting news and hearing their response.

People often complain I screen my phone calls.  You know what…I do.  But it is not because I do not want to talk with people. I do it because I don’t want to start talking and have to hang up half way through the conversation.  I would rather some one call me back,  than to start  a conversation and cut it off.  I try to do the same for others.

But the problem is returning the phone call.  It is hard to find the uninterrupted time to return a call.  Is texting the answer or better yet follow-up with an email?

So to my friend, who I did not return her call,  I am finishing up my blog and will be calling.  It may not be this morning, but sometime today.  I have come up with a plan.  I will tell the boys I am cleaning the bathroom.  No one ever hangs around for that.  But just keep in mind, I may need to flush now and then to keep people out.  No offense intended.

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

2 thoughts on “Answer the #$% Phone

  1. I have friends laugh when they hear “is the house burning down? Is someone bleeding? No? Then it can wait”. I’m guessing they have the same conversation in their house.

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