Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Free at Last

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“Free at last; thank God Almighty we are free at last.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

I am sitting here alone in my home.  The boys are off camping, as you already know, and I am sitting typing up my blog at night.  The TV is on , got a glass of wine and my little dog is at my feet.  It is strange feeling to have this time alone, but I am not complaining.  It might be different if I were at a hotel on a business trip, but being in my home, with my things makes it pretty darn good.

One of the first things you give up when you enter into Motherhood, is time alone.  It is a little secret no one tells you, because you might reconsider having children if you knew.  Sure, that sounds a bit dramatic, but all new mothers will tell you, it is one of the hardest things to adjust to.  Once the child arrives, your time alone is a memory, because a little person needs you to care for them. 

The younger the child, the less time a mother will have alone.  This makes sense, because the young child is very dependent on the mother for so many things.  I did not have many moments alone when I had the first baby.  I felt so attached to him, that being away from him felt uncomfortable.  I thought that was the way things were supposed to be.  I guess for me, it was.  But as time went on, the baby wanted to be with ME all the time.  I soon started to  get burned out.  I could not go to the bathroom, take a shower or go places without a little child requesting my presence.  My time alone, was gone.

Now that the boys are all bigger time alone happens much more often, but being alone in my home, almost never.  Someone always wants to stay home, if I am here.  And when it comes to an overnight alone, well, the last time was when the boys went camping last year.  If the boys are home, the focus is all on them.  And now that I have time to myself, I almost am not sure what to do…almost.

Hope you will understand if I finish up the blog.  My time alone is going way too fast and I have a million things I want to do.  I think I’ll put on another chick flick, eat in front of the TV and get another glass of wine.  Tomorrow I will start to miss the boys, but tonight I am free at last.

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

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