Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Be Careful of Wishes

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“Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” – Anonymous

When a person is trying something new, say a blog, it is important to get feedback.  The newness of a situation can make a person feel very unstable.  Hearing opinions from others, gives some perspective.  It allows her/him to analyze how things are going and if they are going well.  Feedback is good…most of the time.

I am one of those people who like to know what people are thinking.  The unknown of a situation makes me crazy.  I am a realist.  I want to know the truth.   I am not very good at dealing with fluff.  Now mind you, this does not mean if a situation is difficult for me to hear I don’t dwell on it.  It just means, I would rather know what I am dealing with.

Since I have begun the blog I have been getting feedback from all sorts of people. People who have mentioned something  have been friends, acquaintances or family.  Everyone  says the same thing, ” I love the blog.”  As you can imagine, I am quite flattered by such kind words and yet, I feel sceptic as well.  Since everyone knows me personally, I feel like they are saying nice things to be, well…nice.  I wanted to find a way to get a honest  perspective on how things were going with my blog.  An unbiased opinion from someone, but who?  I found the answer…my husband.

My husband and I have a good relationship.  I mean, we are friends, work well together and for the most part are pretty honest with each other.  At least I am honest with him.  I thought he would be an excellent choice for some  feedback about my blog.  I made the request for him to sign up for a subscription.

“Dear, why aren’t you signed up for my blog yet.  I really want you to read what I write, so you can tell me honestly what you think.” – Me

“Well, you read me your blog entries all the time and I tell you what I think.  Why do I need to sign up for the subscriptions?” – Husband

“Because, sometimes I forget to tell you about a certain blog or maybe we do not have time to read it together.  If you sign up, then you can read on your own time.  What do you say? – Me

“Okay.  I will sign up today.” – Husband

Within a day or two of our conversation, my husband signed up for my blog.  It was something I wanted him to do and he did it.  But now, a few days later I am rethinking if it was such a good idea.  Now we are discussing the blog all the time.  Much more than I ever intended.  And frankly, it is more feedback than I ever planned for.

“So I guess you want to travel and not add-on the house now huh? – Husband

“Excuse me.” – Me

“Well, I read your blog about traveling and you made it seem like traveling is all you want to do these days.” – Husband

“No, not exactly.  We just had our appointment for the passports and I started thinking about traveling.  I wrote about the conversations we have been having about what the next steps we want for our life…you know travel, move or adding on to the house.” – Me

“But you said, you are becoming less materialistic and want to experience more.  That sounds like traveling before doing things to the home to me.” – Husband

“Honey, it is a daily blog.  I am writing things down as I experience them.  Nothing is set or certain.  We can talk about it more later okay?- Me

Suddenly discussing my blog does not sound like a good idea.  I wanted feedback, but I guess I wanted my husband to tell me how great I am and how impressed he is with me.  Now that he is making me clarify what I am saying on the blog, I am not liking it.  I don’t want to have  daily discussions about what I am writing.

” When the little guy is not napping, I need to bring a mop huh? – Husband

“What are you talking about?”- Me

“Your blog about napping said you turn into a puddle when the little guy does rest.  I should call first, before I head home, to see if I need to bring a mop to clean things up.” – Husband

“Har, har.  Obviously, you know that is not true, but you also know how the day is when the little guy doesn’t sleep.  It’s  hard.  By the way, what did you think of the napping blog? – Me

“I thought it was cute.” – Husband

“Cute?  What do mean cute?  No other impression about it being funny or interestesting…just cute?” – Me

“Well, it was cute.  I mean what do you want me to say?  You asked for my opinion.”- Husband

There you are…I asked for his opinion.  My husband gives me his thoughts about the blog, whether or not I want to hear it.  I realized what I should have done is hire someone.  You know, pay someone who would exaggerate and stretch the truth and say wonderful things about me.  But I didn’t do that.  I asked for honest feedback.

“You know, you don’t have to be signed up for my blog if you don’t want to.” – Me

“I like reading your blog.  It is a great way to keep tabs on you.”- Husband (big grin)

“Keep tabs on me…what are you talking about?” – Me

“Well, now I will be able to defend my self on your blog, if your write about me.  I will tell everyone if what you are writing is true or not.” – Husband

“What?  I write the truth, or least it is based on true event.  Besides everyone know you can’t trust everything you read.” – Me

“Still, it is good to know what is going on with you.” – Husband

Until my husband mentioned the “keeping tabs on me” thing”, I did not realize how much writing the blog is like talking to my girlfriends.  For the most part, you do not mind having a husband in the room while you talk.  But sometimes, girls need to vent and discuss things  a husband may not want to hear.  See mom was right again, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for.

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

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