I thought I would re-post my blog about ‘going to Brazil’ in honor of a friend of mine who is heading to Brazil today. Her husband has bugged her to ‘go to Brazil’ ever since reading the original post.
Maybe reading today will make you want to visit Brazil, but hopefully not.
When I started this blog I had goals in mind. I hoped to have a creative outlet, improve my writing skills and try new things. Being in a midlife something I figured trying new things would be a good idea.
Some people have a bucket list of adventures they hope to experience before they die. I have a list too. I hope to parachute out of an airplane, attend the academy awards and ride in a blimp. Going to Brazil has always been another thing I hoped to do.
When I speak of Brazil I am not referring to the visiting the South American country. I am referring to getting a Brazilian wax. At dinner a few weeks ago, a friend of mine talked about her Brazilian wax experience. She has had them done for years and told me I should give it a try. Apparently, removing body hair with wax is what all the young girls do today.
I told my friend, “I’m young. I’m going to get waxed too.” Feeling smug and confident I found a wax removal place close to my home. I read the reviews and booked an appointment. “If the young girls can do it, so can I”, I said to myself.
The waxing place looks like a spa. When I walked in I wished they served alcohol as I suddenly felt the need for a stiff drink. The young woman at the desk asked several questions, including what type of wax service I would like. I thought briefly about getting a bikini wax, but thought “What the hell. Remove it all.” Those stupid words would haunt me later.
The nice esthetician led me into a room. The bright lights were blinding. I had hoped the procedure would be done by candle light. Being in the brightly lit room I started to panic. I started cracking jokes. But when she told me to get undressed from the waist down, I stopped laughing.
I was instructed to get up on the table…bottomless. I have flashbacks of this moment. “Everyone gets waxed these days”, the young woman informed me. Who is everyone? When I mentioned I was getting the procedure done to women my age they told me they had never had done it. As I lay on the table, in a very awkward position, I wondered, “What am I doing?”
Having a bikini wax means some hair is removed from the private area. I am trying to refrain from using very specific words here. However, a Brazilian wax means ALL of the hair is removed. I should have asked for more information before agreeing to the procedure. I would have been spared a little less horror and pain.
I will not go into specifics, but will say it HURT…A LOT. Hair is not meant to be pulled out by the root and certainly not in the private area. The young woman talked the entire time while removing every speck of my hair. After the first wax strip was removed I started laughing. The laughter came from the ridiculousness of the situation and the intense pain.
In less than 10 minutes I went from being a woman with hair to a naked mole rat. Not a single strand was left. I was shocked. What in the world was I thinking? I was told I ‘looked great’ and to get dressed. Since when does a bald woman look great?
After getting dressed I stumbled to the front desk. I paid my fees. I opened the front door to leave and felt a cold breeze. Not on my face mind you, but down below.
I sent a text message to my husband to let him know about my procedure. The response was immediate. He sent me a message back.
“What? Really? Wow. I am packing up my things now. Be home soon.”
Well, at least someone is happy I went to Brazil.
I guess I can take going to Brazil off my bucket list.