Tag Archives: couples

Miracle

22 Saturday Dec 2012

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A conversation between a mother and a father.

Mother and father are sitting at dinning room table talking after dinner. Mother looks about and notices children are not around.

“It’s awfully quiet. Where is everybody?” – Mother

“The big boys are in their room.  Not sure where the little guy is.” – Father

Mother and father look at each other with panicked faces.

“I’ll look for him this way.  You go that way.” – Father

Mother and father walk away from kitchen to search for little boy.  After a few minutes father approaches mother.

“Come here.  You won’t believe it.” – Father

“Oh no.” – Mother

Father leads mother to little boy’s bedroom.  Mother looks around room and notices little boy.  Little boy is lying in his bed asleep.  Lights are on.

“Wow.” – Mother (whispers)

“Wow is right.” – Father (whispers)

“It’s a miracle.” – Mother (whispers)

Mother and father walk out of the bedroom and turn out the light.  Mother gives father a big hug and father gives mother a high-five slap on the hand.

“We don’t have to put the little guy to bed.  We have the evening free to do what we want.  First time EVER,” – Father (big smile)

” It’s a miracle.  A true blue spectacle.  The miracle is you.” – Mother (singing)

It’s A Miracle by Barry Manilow. Brought to you by Youtube creator Miss Emerald Isle

Envying Rita

22 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood

≈ 18 Comments

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A conversation between a husband and a wife.

Husband arrives home after work.  Husband looks for wife.

“Honey?  I’m home.  Where are you?” – Husband

Husband finds wife on hands and knees in living room.

“What are you doing?” – Husband

“The dog threw up again.  We just had the carpet cleaned and she threw up on it.  I’m cleaning the mess up.” – Wife

“Oh.  I’m sorry.  She must have liked the smell of clean carpet.” – Husband

Wife wrinkles brow and looks at husband.

“I’m sure Rita never has to clean up dog barf on the carpet.” – Wife

“Rita?  Who is Rita?” – Husband

“Rita Wilson…Tom Hanks wife.” – Wife

“Why are you talking about Rita Wilson.  You don’t know her.” – Husband

“She and Tom were in the news recently and they sure looked happy.  Rita always looks happy.  She doesn’t look like she cleans up dog puke from a carpet.  I bet she has a whole crew of people who clean messy things for her.” – Wife

“True.  I doubt she has done any cleaning for years.  Her husband is a big movie star who makes the big bucks.” – Husband

“Yeah.  No cleaning.  Must be nice.  Bet she doesn’t have to cook dinner either.  No cooking or cleaning…now that’s the life.” – Wife

“Come on.  Things are so bad.  Aside from the dog throw up we have a good life.  We have great kids.” – Husband

“Rita and Tom have great kids.” – Wife

“Being a movie star’s wife must be a lot of pressure.  You wouldn’t want that would you?” – Husband

Silence.

“Being in the movie business isn’t all glamor you know.  Tom is probably away from his family all the time.  Bet Rita wishes she had him home every night like you do with me.” – Husband (Big Smile)

“Yeah…I guess so.” – Wife

“I sure don’t envy Tom.  Living in the public eye must be hard.  No privacy.  No siree.  I like my life the way it is.”- Husband

“The ice maker in the fridge is broken.  There was water all over the kitchen floor today.  Oh and the our bathroom shower drain is clogged.” – Wife

“What?  Home repairs never end.” – Husband

“I bet Tom never has to repair a broken ice maker and snake the drain before dinner.” – Wife

Tom Hanks and wife Rita Wilson on the red carp...

Tom Hanks and wife Rita Wilson on the red carpet at the 1989 Academy Awards, March 29, 1989 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Dear Victoria

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by in Odd Stuff

≈ 22 Comments

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Dear Victoria,

Please refrain from sending your sexy lingerie catalogs to my home.  May I remind you there are two teenage boys who live here.  I have no interest in finding one of your catalogs under one of the teen’s bed.  I hope I don’t have to explain why.

By the way, I also have a husband who lives with me.  I do not appreciate your catalog giving my husband ideas of what I should be prancing around wearing on his ‘work from home’ day.  I like my cotton briefs and do not want to feel pressured to wear otherwise.

One last thing,  if you want me to purchase any of your items I would prefer to see photos of how they look on a ‘real woman’ body.  It would give me a better idea of how an item would look on me.   The girls you use for your photos are indeed lovely, but I look nothing like them.

Thank you Victoria.  I appreciate your understanding in this matter.

Keep up with the snazzy push up bras.  That is one item I can always use.  Hope to see you soon at the store, but remember no more catalogs.  I have enough problems.

Sincerely,

Miss Morality (Nate)

What is That?

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood, Parenting, Teen Years

≈ 19 Comments

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A conversation between a husband and a wife.

Wife is in bathroom brushing her teeth.  Wife looks down and notices something.  Wife calls to husband.

“Honey, will you come here please?” – Wife

“Just a minute.” – Husband

Husband enters into bathroom.  Wife finishes brushing her teeth.

“Do you see that?” – Wife

Wife points to object lying in the sink.

“What is that?” – Wife

Husband looks closely at object.

“That looks like a hair.” – Husband

“I know it is a hair, but what kind of hair is it?” – Wife

Husband looks at hair closer.

“It looks like a pubic hair.” – Husband

“What is a pubic hair doing in MY bathroom sink?  Is it yours?” – Wife

“No, it’s not mine.  And I thought we shared the bathroom.  I didn’t realize it was your bathroom.” – Husband

“Why is there pubic hair in the bathroom sink?  Whose is it?” – Wife

“Maybe it is yours.” – Husband

“What?  No, it’s not mine.  I would know if it was mine.  Besides how would I get pubic hair in the sink?” – Wife

“Well, maybe it is one of the boys.  Not the little guy of course.  Did you notice anything else in the bathroom when you came in?” – Husband

“What do you mean, anything else?  Like what?” – Wife

“I don’t know scissors or crunchy towels?” – Husband

“Scissors?  Crunchy towels?  Why would those things be in the bathroom?” – Wife

Husband raises eyebrows.

“Scissors for hair trimming and crunchy towels for…” – Husband

“What the…no, you did not just say that.  Don’t say that.  God, no.  There were no scissors or crunchy towels.” – Wife

Wife grabs small piece of toilet paper.  Wife wipes up hair and tosses it into the trash.

“This is your fault you know.  It’s the sperm that determines the sex of the child.  I have three boys because your sperm thought I was meant to be a mother of boys.  Well, I’m not cut out for this crap.  Do not ever bring up ‘crunchy towels’ again.” – Wife

Wife walks out of bathroom.

“Honey, I’m sorry.  I was just trying to explain what may have happened.  Honey?” – Husband.

A Girl Walked into a Bar

21 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood

≈ 20 Comments

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A conversation between a young woman, her friend, a young man and his friend.

Two young women walk into a crowded bar.  Both women stand near table of two young men.

“I’m going to the bar to get us something to drink.  What do you want?” – Female friend

“A beer.  Hey, come back right away, okay?  I don’t want to be by myself all night.” – Young woman

Friend walks away.  Several minutes go by.  Young woman looks for friend.  Young woman begins conversation with young man at nearby table.

“Do you want to dance?” – Young woman

“Who are you talking to?” – Young man

“You.” – Young woman

“Okay.” – Young man

Young woman and young man go out on dance floor.  Both dance several songs, then return to table.

“You are cute.  Have you always been good-looking or are you just practicing?” – Young woman

“Who are you talking to?” – Young man

“You.” – Young woman

“Oh.” – Young man (BIG SMILE)

Young man leans over to male friend and whispers.

“Do you know this girl?” – Young man

“No.” -  Male friend

“Well, she is with me.” – Young man

My Mom used to always say to me, “Nate, you’re never going to meet a nice guy in a bar.”  Well, she was wrong.  Twenty years ago today, I met the nicest man I have ever known.  Not only did I meet him, I married him.

Happy Anniversary to the day I met my wonderful husband…in a bar.

Bar 1

Bar

I Feel Bad About Pluto

18 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood

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A conversation between a husband and a wife.

Wife and husband lying in bed.  Husband is sleeping.  Wife moves closer to husband and touches husbands face.

“Honey, are you awake?” – Wife

“What?  Um, no.  What is it?  What’s wrong?” – Husband

“Did you know it would take six to eight months to travel to Mars?” – Wife

“Mars?  What are you talking about?  What time is it?” – Husband

“I read in a book today it would take six months to travel to Mars.  I could never do that.  I don’t want to travel to Mars.” – Wife

“Nate, it is the middle of the night.  Why are you talking about traveling to Mars.” – Husband

“I can’t sleep.  I was lying here thinking about traveling in space.  I am not going.” – Wife

“You’re not going where?” – Husband

“Into space.  It freaks me out.  I could never travel in a spaceship for six long months hoping I might land on Mars.  I like Earth.  I am staying here no matter what.” – Wife

“Why are we talking about this?” – Husband

“Because you and the boys love space.   If someone made you an offer to travel I think you would go.  I won’t go with you on your space travels.  I just thought you should know that.” – Wife

“Oh.  Okay.” – Husband

“I don’t like Jupiter.  I never have.  It may be the biggest planet in our solar system, but I don’t like it.  Who cares if it’s the biggest when it’s really just a big ball of gas?  Saturn is better.  She is beautiful.” – Wife

“She?”- Husband

“Saturn is a she.  She may be made of gas, but has lovely stripes and rings.  Love her.” – Wife

“Nate, are you really awake?  Are you sleep talking?  You never talk about space.” – Husband

“Of course I am awake.  I feel bad about Pluto.  Kicked out of solar system just because he is a dwarf planet.  I grew up with Pluto, now he is nothing more than a floating sphere.” – Wife

“Did you say ‘floating sphere’?  Wow.  I did not realize you knew so much about planets?” – Husband

“I read a bunch of space books to help the little guy make his solar system model.” – Wife

“Cool.  You know, if we travel beyond our solar system we will have to use generations of families to get there.  Families will live and die all on the spaceship, never knowing sunlight or green grass.  Can you imagine that? – Husband

“Generations of families?  Living and dying on a spaceship?  Really?  I’m not going.  I’m not traveling to Mars and not going to planets outside of our solar system.  You will have to go without me.” – Wife

“I would never go without you.   I would stay on Earth.” – Husband

“You wouldn’t go?  But you love space travel.  It has always been your dream.” – Wife

“Yeah.  Ever since I was little kid I dreamed of heading out into space someday.  But I love you more.  If you won’t go, neither will I.” – Husband

“Wow.  Thanks Sweetie.  I love you too. Now stop talking.  I’m tired.  I don’t like all this space talk.  I want to sleep.” – Wife

“But don’t you want to hear which planet is my favorite? ” – Husband

Pluto and Charon as taken with the ESA/Dornier...

Pluto and Charon  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Ten Things We Used to Do Before the Kids Arrived

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Couplehood, Parenting

≈ 12 Comments

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A couple of nights ago, my husband and I went out on a date.  We had a wonderful time, dinner and movie.  The weather was warm and we enjoyed our meal outdoors.  As we ate we both commented on how we should be doing more things without the kids.  The meal was so enjoyable.  No fighting over who gets to sit where, no complaining about the lack of burgers on the menu and no threats to make someone eat or they will never eat out again.

During our dinner, my husband and I started talking about how different our lives were when it was just the two of us.  Happy times.  Mind you, we love our boys, but we sure did have fun before they arrived.

Thought I would share a little of our conversation.

Ten Things We Used to Do Before the Kids Arrived

1.  Sex

Sex is number one.  My husband I still have sex, but not the huge quantity we did before the kids.  Typical weekend day before kids:  wake up have sex, work out, shower, eat breakfast, run errands, lunch, sex, nap, do chores, out to dinner, sex, and sleep.  I have mentioned before, when we lived in  London many sights were not seen due to my husband and I’s need to have sex all the time.

2.  Watch TV

I do not watch TV anymore, but that was not always the case.  Back in the day, husband and I used to head up to Blockbuster and rent movies all the time.  The boys dominate the TV now.  We have Netflix and watch kid  horror films like Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked.

3.  Eat out.

I did not cook before kids.  I didn’t need to.  My husband and I ate out almost every night.  I cook now only because a family of five cannot afford to eat every meal away from home.  Eating out is my favorite thing to do, but not with three boys in tow.

4.  Sex

Wait, did I say this already?  I guess it bears repeating.  Sex after kids not only decreases in frequency, it also in confined to the bedroom.  No more wild romps in the family room or kitchen.  Teenagers are always lurking looking for food and one cannot risk and encounter.

5.  Work out together

My husband and I still work out, but I work out at home and he does so at his work gym.  We used to both belong to the same fitness club and work out together.  Nothing like working up a sweat, with your significant other.  Now I lift weights in the garage alone, listening to the laundry machine and being interrupted by boys.

6.  Travel

My husband and love to travel.  We did a bit of traveling before the kids.  Nowadays we spend most of our time visiting relatives (nothing wrong with that), but gone are the days of just hoping in the car and seeing where the road takes you.  Kids need planning for food, rest and entertainment.  Too much work sometimes.

7.  Read

I have a huge stack of books on my bedside table waiting to be read.  During the day, there is too much to do to find time to read and at night I am exhausted.  My husband puts the little guy to bed, by laying with him until he falls asleep.  He often comes in to our dark bedroom and finds me sleeping.  No time for him to read either.

8.  Hang out with friends

Our free time was more flexible before kids.  We could schedule things with friends and stick to the plans.  These days the boys have their own schedules that we must work around.  If we both want an evening out, we must be sure someone is available to watch the little guy.  A day out shopping with the girls, requires planning.

9.  Sex

Okay, one last mention of sex.  Sex before kids was loud.  I am sure my mother-in-law loves reading this.  Not only do we now stay in the bedroom, but we must stifle our noises.  In the summer, our windows are wide open and our bedroom is right next to the teenagers.  We do not want to scar our boys for life, by having them hear their parents shout out in ecstasy.  So we stay quiet.

10.  Go on dates

This is the reason we started our conversation.  My husband and I used to go out on dates all the time.  We went to movies, out to dinner, to museums, visiting with friends, and all sorts of fun stuff.  We still date, but not often.  Dates now get mentioned on Facebook because they are such a rare occurrence.  Sigh.

I did mention my husband and I love being parents, right?  We love our boys.  It is just…well, things were different before they arrived.

Only thirteen more years until the last boy leaves our home.

Sure hope we are still alive by then.

 

 

One More Reason

06 Monday Aug 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood

≈ 7 Comments

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A conversation between a wife and a husband.

“Honey.  Look at that beautiful baby over there.” – Wife

“Aww.  She is a cutie.  Remember when our boys were babies?  I love babies.” – Husband

“You love babies?” – Wife

“Of course I do.  You know that.” – Husband

“Yeah.  You’re right.  We both love babies.” – Wife

“We will have to wait for the grandkids before we get our baby fix again.  We are going to be the best grandparents.” – Husband

“I think we will be too.  Just one more reason why I love you.” – Wife

Happy

Happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Helping Out

04 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by in Conversations, Couplehood

≈ 6 Comments

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A conversation between a husband and a wife.

“Sweetie, what are you doing?” – Husband

“Trying to put shelf liner on the pantry shelves.” – Wife

“Why are you using scissors to trim the liner.” – Husband

“I don’t know.  I thought using scissors was the way to trim it.” – Wife

“No.  You need a razor blade.  I will get one for you.” -  Husband

Husband leaves and comes back with a razor blade.

“Here, try this.  It will go a lot faster if you use the blade.” – Husband

“I don’t like using the razor.  It make me nervous.” – Wife

“Here let me show you how to do it.  It is easy.  Nothing to be nervous about.” – Husband

Wife watches husband trim shelf liner with blade.

“Looks nice.  But, I am still nervous about using the blade.” – Wife

“I will do it then.  It will take too long to use the scissors.” – Husband

“Oh, thank you honey.” – Wife (BIG SMILE)

Wife walks away.  Husband finishes putting on shelf liner in pantry.

Living With a Saint

25 Saturday Feb 2012

Posted by in Couplehood

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English: Screenshot of Julie Andrews from the ...

“Living with a saint is more grueling than being one.”   – Christian Nestell Bovee

Years ago I heard a great story how movie director Blake Edwards, started dating actress Julie Andrews.  Edwards is said to have become romantically involved with Julie Andrews after she heard him once describe her as being “so sweet she probably has violets between her legs.”  They began dating after she sent Edwards a bunch of violets and a note. They later married.

Julie Andrews has a reputation for being sweet.  When ever I see Julie in an interview, I always say to myself, “Oh, she is so sweet.  Look at her smile.  I feel like singing.”  Julie Andrews gives off goody-two shoes vibes.  It is as if she could do no wrong.

I often wondered what life must have been like for Blake Edwards, to live with such a beloved woman.  Must have been wonderful.  But then…must have been hard at times too.  Living with Julie Andrews is kind of like living with a saint.  Living with a saint can be difficult at times.  How do I know?  I live with one.

My husband is a saint.  This is a name given to him by my sisters.  He is not an official saint, but if such titles were given out for outstanding husband and father, my husband would win.  I have yet to meet anyone who does not like my husband.  As a matter of fact, most people love my husband.  I hear it all the time.

“Nate, I love your husband.” – Wilma (fake name)

“How nice.  I love him too.”- Me

When I met my beloved husband years ago, I knew he was a keeper.  As a matter of fact, early on in our dating I told people, he was the nicest guy I have ever met.  I was right.  He is the nicest guy I have ever met.  I kept thinking the ‘real’ man would eventually come to light, but no.  My husband is who he is.  He is a very kind person.

People love my husband because he is helpful, hard-working and smiles a lot.  I brag about how nice he is.  I tell people how he makes lunches for the boys, helps with homework, paints baseboards, drops the kids at the bus stop, cleans the kitchen and puts away laundry.  Most women would be thrilled if their husband did just one of those things.  My darling man does all those things and more.

A while ago, I realized my husband bragging was not working in my favor.  When I confessed a challenge I was having with my hubby, a friend did not side with me.  As a matter of fact, she told me I did not appreciate how wonderful my husband was.  Not appreciate my husband?

Once I called my sister for support, because of an argument my husband and I were having.  She took my husband’s side in the matter.

“I think you should let him buy the car, Nate.  For goodness sake.  His car has no air conditioning and he has to drive around in a suit all day.” – Older Sister

“But the Mustang works fine.  We do not need a new car.  It will be expensive. We cannot afford it.” – Me

“He wants to buy YOU a mini-van, not a new sports car for himself.  He is thinking of you and the boys.” – Older Sister

“Face it.  You love him more than me.  I am your sister, but you love him more.” – Me

It is not easy living with someone so beloved. I get the impression people do not think I am worthy of such a ‘saintly’ man.  I have tried to dirty up my husband’s clean image, but it only makes me look worse.

“You know, he is not always so nice.  He does yell pretty loud sometimes.  And once, he forgot to take out the trash.” – Me

“Once.  My husband never takes out the trash and only yells.  Nate, you are so lucky.  I wish I had your troubles.” – Betty (fake name)

I do not mind living with such a saintly person, as long as people keep in mind I picked him.  It was my good choice that led to having such a lovely man to live with.  I am the one who deserves the credit.

Who I am fooling?  The fact is, my lovely husband chose me to marry.  I am the lucky one.

Living with a saint is nice.  Just like my husband.

Sure beats the alternative…being living with an idiot.

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