A couple of nights ago, my husband and I went out on a date. We had a wonderful time, dinner and movie. The weather was warm and we enjoyed our meal outdoors. As we ate we both commented on how we should be doing more things without the kids. The meal was so enjoyable. No fighting over who gets to sit where, no complaining about the lack of burgers on the menu and no threats to make someone eat or they will never eat out again.
During our dinner, my husband and I started talking about how different our lives were when it was just the two of us. Happy times. Mind you, we love our boys, but we sure did have fun before they arrived.
Thought I would share a little of our conversation.
Ten Things We Used to Do Before the Kids Arrived
Sex is number one. My husband I still have sex, but not the huge quantity we did before the kids. Typical weekend day before kids: wake up have sex, work out, shower, eat breakfast, run errands, lunch, sex, nap, do chores, out to dinner, sex, and sleep. I have mentioned before, when we lived in London many sights were not seen due to my husband and I’s need to have sex all the time.
2. Watch TV
I do not watch TV anymore, but that was not always the case. Back in the day, husband and I used to head up to Blockbuster and rent movies all the time. The boys dominate the TV now. We have Netflix and watch kid horror films like Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked.
3. Eat out.
I did not cook before kids. I didn’t need to. My husband and I ate out almost every night. I cook now only because a family of five cannot afford to eat every meal away from home. Eating out is my favorite thing to do, but not with three boys in tow.
Wait, did I say this already? I guess it bears repeating. Sex after kids not only decreases in frequency, it also in confined to the bedroom. No more wild romps in the family room or kitchen. Teenagers are always lurking looking for food and one cannot risk and encounter.
5. Work out together
My husband and I still work out, but I work out at home and he does so at his work gym. We used to both belong to the same fitness club and work out together. Nothing like working up a sweat, with your significant other. Now I lift weights in the garage alone, listening to the laundry machine and being interrupted by boys.
My husband and love to travel. We did a bit of traveling before the kids. Nowadays we spend most of our time visiting relatives (nothing wrong with that), but gone are the days of just hoping in the car and seeing where the road takes you. Kids need planning for food, rest and entertainment. Too much work sometimes.
I have a huge stack of books on my bedside table waiting to be read. During the day, there is too much to do to find time to read and at night I am exhausted. My husband puts the little guy to bed, by laying with him until he falls asleep. He often comes in to our dark bedroom and finds me sleeping. No time for him to read either.
8. Hang out with friends
Our free time was more flexible before kids. We could schedule things with friends and stick to the plans. These days the boys have their own schedules that we must work around. If we both want an evening out, we must be sure someone is available to watch the little guy. A day out shopping with the girls, requires planning.
Okay, one last mention of sex. Sex before kids was loud. I am sure my mother-in-law loves reading this. Not only do we now stay in the bedroom, but we must stifle our noises. In the summer, our windows are wide open and our bedroom is right next to the teenagers. We do not want to scar our boys for life, by having them hear their parents shout out in ecstasy. So we stay quiet.
10. Go on dates
This is the reason we started our conversation. My husband and I used to go out on dates all the time. We went to movies, out to dinner, to museums, visiting with friends, and all sorts of fun stuff. We still date, but not often. Dates now get mentioned on Facebook because they are such a rare occurrence. Sigh.
I did mention my husband and I love being parents, right? We love our boys. It is just…well, things were different before they arrived.
Only thirteen more years until the last boy leaves our home.
Sure hope we are still alive by then.