Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of things unique to being a mom. Things that frankly never seem to happen if there aren’t kids living in the house. Here are just a few examples of what I mean.
Have you ever noticed when you say it’s time for dinner someone needs to go to the bathroom and you end up waiting a half hour for their return?
Have you ever noticed when you purchase a new snack food it will get eaten even though three other snack food bags are already open?
Have you ever noticed when you tell you teenager they need to clean their room they tell you their head hurts?
Have ever noticed the dog is sound asleep until you decide you climb into bed and then suddenly they need to use the bathroom?
Have you ever noticed if you don’t lock the door to your bedroom someone will come in without knocking?
Have you ever noticed if a child has something disgusting going on (pimples, diarrhea, barfing) the person they call for is mom?
Have you ever noticed when a child wants to ask you to drive them somewhere they suddenly start putting away dishes?
Have you ever noticed when you get a little extra cash something breaks shortly afterwards?
Have you ever noticed when you open a book to read everyone wants to sit next you and snuggle?
Have you ever noticed when you decide to get romantic with your spouse someone small can’t sleep alone because the monsters under their bed are too loud?
Have you ever noticed how when you cook a kid-friendly meal like pizza, pasta or burgers you receive the ‘best mom’ award, but when you cook fish your title gets removed and stomped on?
Have you ever noticed when your child is looking for something and asks for help they stop looking once you agree to look?
Have you ever noticed if you ask your spouse to cook dinner there are no vegetables served?
Have you ever noticed how if you have multiple children there is always one child who hates the restaurant you chose for dinner?
Have you ever noticed when there is work to be done around the house the children seem to vanish?
Have you ever noticed the twist tie to the bread bag is always missing?
Have you ever noticed when your on the phone the doorbell rings, dog starts barking, kids start yelling, spouse goes missing, and you end up sounding like a lunatic screaming “I am on the phone!”