Today is kindergarten orientation for my little son. The whole family is planning to attend. We have been talking about school starting at our home for months and in about a week, school will begin.
I am happy for my son, but I won’t lie. I have a happy, heavy heart today. Happy because I know he will have a wonderful time at kindergarten. He will be well cared for by very loving people, at a wonderful school. Heavy because my little boy will be with other people during the day, not me. I will miss him.
Today I thought I would repost a blog I did a while ago when I realized my little son was getting bigger and would soon head to kindergarten. I love my little guy.
Yesterday was a wonderful day. Nothing extraordinary happened. I spent the day with one of my favorite people, my little son.
After we sent dad and the big boys off to school, we spent the morning puttering around the house. I did housework and my little son played. Once most of my chores were done, I asked my son what we should do with our day.
My little son mentioned going to a puppet show. I thought that was a great idea. I suggested we could also head to the downtown library to pick up so new books. Nice plan for both of us.
As we drove to the puppet show, my son and I had a conversation.
“Momma, I want to get a book on making puppets at the library.” – Little Boy
“That is a good idea. We will go to the children’s section at the library, it will have books on how to make things for kids. I want to get a book about making felt stories. Then you and I can create more felt stories to use for you felt board.” – Me
“Yeah, felt stories are my favorite. You read the words and I do the parts of the story. Momma, when will I read the words?” – Little Boy
“Well, you already know your letters, so it won’t be long. Maybe when you go to kindergarten you will start to read some words.” – Me
“Oh. When do I go to kindergarten?” – Little Boy
“This fall. You have to be five and your birthday is coming soon. After the summer, you will be able to go.” – Me
“I can’t wait to go the kindergarten. I will be a big boy won’t I?” – Little Boy
I looked into the rearview window at my son. His sweet face was smiling. I could tell he was thinking about being bigger and going to school. I started to think about him leaving for school in the fall. Suddenly, I felt very sad. I realized how much I was going to miss him…really miss him.
Since my little son’s arrival over four years ago, we have been inseparable. Every where I go, he has gone too. He can always be seen in my arms, holding my hand or running in front of me. Unless he is at preschool, he is with me.
Some mothers cannot wait for kindergarten to start. I have never been one of those moms. I remember years ago, when my oldest son was ready to start school. He was very excited. I was not.
“Momma, I am going to school soon. I can not wait to go the big boy school.” – Old Boy
“Yes, sweetie. You will be gone all day. I sure will miss you buddy.” – Me
“Don’t worry, Momma. I will be home in the evenings. You will see me every night.”- Old Boy
The thought of only seeing my oldest son, only a few hours in the evening did not sit well with me. I would no longer be able to eat lunch with him, take him fun places or just hang out around the house. I briefly considered homeschooling my oldest son, but he wanted to go to school. When he finally did leave for kindergarten, my heart hurt. I missed him.
I believe the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become. Since I have spent so much time with my boys, especially when they were little, I feel very close to them. I have plenty of days when they drive me crazy, but since I know them so well, I understand them.
My little son and I pulled into the puppet theater parking lot. I turned around and looked at him. He is almost five. Five years has gone by so very fast. It is amazing how many parents cannot wait for the next milestone to arrive for their child, without realizing once a child moves on…they cannot go back.
I unbuckled my son’s car seat and gave him a big hug. My eyes filled with tears. My little son has brought me so much joy. My little son noticed my tears and asked what was wrong.
“Momma, why are you sad? We are going to the puppet show. It is your favorite thing to do.” – Little Boy
“You’re right buddy. Going to the puppet show is my favorite thing. I am crying because I am so happy that I have you, to go with me.” – Me
“Don’t you worry, Momma. You are my best friend. Best friends always do things together. I love you, Momma.” – Little Boy
“Thank you sweetie. You are my best buddy too. Come on. Let’s head to the show.” – Me
We went to the show, lunch and the library. It was a wonderful day. Maybe the best of days.
I am sure going to miss my little buddy.
If sending my son to kindergarten is this hard, imagine what sending the boys to college will be like. Thank goodness I have a few more years until I have to do that.