My husband heard this quote the other day from a movie called, Perks of Being a Wallflower. I have not seen the movie myself, but my husband and Tall Boy highly recommended it.
When my husband first confessed his love to me years ago I didn’t feel worthy of it. Prior to meeting him I had dated several toads (a princess has to kiss a lot of toads to find her prince). Most of the guys I dated were the fixer-upper kind. They had potential to be great men, but something held them back. Usually it was themselves. Several of them also had a fear of committment.
After dating toads for several years I realized I had a pattern. The pattern was I kept chosing men who were unavailable emotionally and unmotivated career wise. They were nice guys, but being nice wasn’t enough. In order to change my chosing pattern I went into therapy. I wanted to learn why I was chosing a particular type of guy and how I could stop chosing him.
After a few sessions I understood myself better. One of the issues I came to realize was I didn’t think I deserved better than I was being offered. I accepted each relationship that came my way and tried to mold it into an image I hoped for. Obviously my plan was unsuccessful. One person can’t mold another person to be the image they want.
I met my husband a few months after I started therapy. At the time I had worked hard to improve my self-image and to resolve old issues from my childhood. The result was I was able to believe my husband when he took interest in me. He was kind, handsome, smart, motivated career wise and wanted to be in a committed relationship. He was all I had hoped for in a future mate.
Instead to pushing him away because I was unsure if I deserved him I held on to him tightly. I struggled through many months of feeling uncomfortable and doubting because knew he was not the kind of person who would lie. When he told me I was beautiful I knew he said it because it was how he viewed me.
The way I was able to attract my husband was to believe I deserved his love.
There are people I love who are struggling in relationships and they want something better. Today’s quote is dedicated to them. Until you believe you deserve more no one else will either.
Believe. You deserve it.