Tags
conversation, Humor, Mother, Motherhood, Parenting, Teenagers
The other day a friend and I were talking about being honest with our kids. It appears she and I had different ideas on how honest we should be.
“Have your kids ever asked about your past? You know when you were younger” – Fran
“What do you mean? My past?”- Me
“You know about sex and drugs. Stuff like that.” – Fran
“Not yet. But I’m not worried.” – Me
“Really? Are you going to be honest?” – Fran
“No. They wouldn’t be able to handle the truth about their mom. Some things are better left unsaid.” – Me
Later that day I started to think about what I would say if the boys were to ask about my wild days in college. I realized I better think of some snappy answers should the questions start coming.
“Mom, have you ever cheated?” - Son
“On your father? Of course not. You silly boy.” – Mom
“Mom, did you and dad have sex before you got married?” – Son
“That is a very personal question. I met your father so long ago it’s hard to remember. There was big kissing that’s for sure.” – Mom
“Mom, have you smoked pot?” – Son
“I drank bong water once. That doesn’t count.” – Mom
“Did you and dad live together before you got married?” – Son
“Yes. I won’t lie. We were roommates. Dad sleep in the bed during the day and I slept in it at night.” - Mom
“Mom, have you ever had sex with anyone one other than dad?” – Son
“I have only had sex with your father since I met him. You father is a fabulous lover. Why would I ever think of anyone else?” – Mom
“Mom, have you ever stolen anything?” – Son
“Well, there was a guy I started dating when another friend of mine really liked him, but I don’t consider that stealing do you?” – Mom
“Did you ever lie to your parents?” – Son
“Are you hungry? I could make you a sandwich with extra ham the way you like it.” – Mom
I feel better now that I have my answers in place. Nothing for me to worry about. There is a way to avoid every answer and turn it into a positive response.
No boy wants to hear of his mother’s torrid past. Okay, maybe not torrid, but still. Some things are definitely left unsaid.
I never thought I had a very racy past until my sons started asking me questions. I like the tactic of evasion.
I hope it works. Last thing I want is to discuss the ‘good old’ colllege days with my boys.
Name, rank & serial number.
In your world, there are no follow-ups & all responses are accepted. Wouldn’t that be nice.
You talk about considering a new career – well considering your gift at avoiding questions/responsibility, I think you are a natural politician.
I will take the politician comment as a compliement although I am not quite sure you meant it to be.
Okay, we’ll leave it at that then.
tsk tsk.. bad girl
Didn’t seem bad at the time.
I understand your reluctance. It is hard to feel worthy of their respect when we have fallen so short in our past. Although I must admit I have taken a very different approach with my children because my Mum was SOOOO perfect. She never did a thing wrong, and would never admit it to us if she did. I eventually lost respect for her because her perfection made me feel much less than good enough, and as I grew I knew it was not possible for her to have never done a thing wrong. This made me go the other way with my kids.. I tell my girls everything, with repentance and apologies, I teach them as much as I can about consequences of my actions. Information is power. I am human and I want them to know I will love them even when they make mistakes. I tell them why things are bad, how the reality of all my past mistakes has effected my life. They are good kids and we are closer for it. I am sure no matter which way you handle things they will respect you because you put them first and love them so. Your protection of them is so funny and tongue in cheek. I like that…Blessings to you!
A great response. I have considered telling everything to my boys, but I they will find their own path. They know I am not perfect. They know I have made mistakes in judgements. I know they will too.