The other day a friend and I were talking about being honest with our kids. It appears she and I had different ideas on how honest we should be.
“Have your kids ever asked about your past? You know when you were younger” – Fran
“What do you mean? My past?”- Me
“You know about sex and drugs. Stuff like that.” – Fran
“Not yet. But I’m not worried.” – Me
“Really? Are you going to be honest?” – Fran
“No. They wouldn’t be able to handle the truth about their mom. Some things are better left unsaid.” – Me
Later that day I started to think about what I would say if the boys were to ask about my wild days in college. I realized I better think of some snappy answers should the questions start coming.
“Mom, have you ever cheated?” - Son
“On your father? Of course not. You silly boy.” – Mom
“Mom, did you and dad have sex before you got married?” – Son
“That is a very personal question. I met your father so long ago it’s hard to remember. There was big kissing that’s for sure.” – Mom
“Mom, have you smoked pot?” – Son
“I drank bong water once. That doesn’t count.” – Mom
“Did you and dad live together before you got married?” – Son
“Yes. I won’t lie. We were roommates. Dad sleep in the bed during the day and I slept in it at night.” - Mom
“Mom, have you ever had sex with anyone one other than dad?” – Son
“I have only had sex with your father since I met him. You father is a fabulous lover. Why would I ever think of anyone else?” – Mom
“Mom, have you ever stolen anything?” – Son
“Well, there was a guy I started dating when another friend of mine really liked him, but I don’t consider that stealing do you?” – Mom
“Did you ever lie to your parents?” – Son
“Are you hungry? I could make you a sandwich with extra ham the way you like it.” – Mom
I feel better now that I have my answers in place. Nothing for me to worry about. There is a way to avoid every answer and turn it into a positive response.
No boy wants to hear of his mother’s torrid past. Okay, maybe not torrid, but still. Some things are definitely left unsaid.