My sister-in-law posted something on Facebook the other day. It was a list of what men think makes a perfect woman. I thought I would see how I measure up to the test.
Men’s Health List of 11 things that make up the Perfect Woman
1. You laugh at their jokes
Got this one. I love guys with a great sense of humor. You have to laugh at the guy’s jokes or they will think you are laughing at them behind their backs.
2. You’re 2-4 years younger than they are
Oh no. Number 2 and I am out of the running. My husband is three years younger than me. I like younger guys. You can boss them around easier. Hope my husband is too busy at work to read today’s blog.
3. You have a nice smile
Yup. One of my best traits if I do say so myself. I got a big, cheeky smile too. I smile all the time. In high school I was voted best smile on the Pom-pon team. I need to add that to my résumé.
4. You have big breasts
Gulp. I am way out the running now. I don’t have big breasts. Never have and never will. Not unless breasts the size of crab apples are considered big.
5. You have long legs
I have very long legs. Back in the race. I have a 34 inseam to be exact. My legs are so long they wrap around my husband twice when we have sex. Was that too much information?
6. You have your own career and money
A career that pays money or a career and someone else’s money? I think this is a no. Motherhood and blogging don’t bring in any income. Sigh.
7. You have little feet
Nope to this one. I have big size feet. They match the long legs. If I had dainty feet I would topple over all the time. My feet are clean though. Does that count?
8. You’re educated
I graduated high school and college. I’m educated. This is thumbs up for me.
9. You wear red
I do wear red. As a matter of fact I wore red skinny jeans yesterday. Who knew wearing red would make a me a perfect woman?
10. You have narrow hips
Another no. My hips are not huge, but narrow…no. I am built a bit like Olive Oyl, but in a good way. Does any one think Olive Oyl is attractive? I think I just insulted myself.
11. You have brown hair
Now we’re talking. My brown hair is one thing I like best about my looks. So many people change their hair from brown to something else, but not me. I like being a brunette.
Okay, what’s the final score. I’m 6 out of 11. Not bad. The odds are in my favor.
To be perfect I just need to get surgery to cut off my feet a little, trim my hips and insert some plastic bags in my chest to make my boobs bigger, and get a career that pays. Well, that doesn’t sound so bad…except for cutting my feet.
You know what? I don’t need a silly list to let me know if I am perfect or not.
This is a biased list anyway. They forgot to ask the most important person what they think a perfect woman is…my husband. I bet once they do, my big feet will be just fine.