Tags
Child, Family, Kindergarten, Little Boy, Motherhood, Parenting, Puppet, puppet theater
Today is kindergarten orientation for my little son. The whole family is planning to attend. We have been talking about school starting at our home for months and in about a week, school will begin.
I am happy for my son, but I won’t lie. I have a happy, heavy heart today. Happy because I know he will have a wonderful time at kindergarten. He will be well cared for by very loving people, at a wonderful school. Heavy because my little boy will be with other people during the day, not me. I will miss him.
Today I thought I would repost a blog I did a while ago when I realized my little son was getting bigger and would soon head to kindergarten. I love my little guy.
Kindergarten Blues
Yesterday was a wonderful day. Nothing extraordinary happened. I spent the day with one of my favorite people, my little son.
After we sent dad and the big boys off to school, we spent the morning puttering around the house. I did housework and my little son played. Once most of my chores were done, I asked my son what we should do with our day.
My little son mentioned going to a puppet show. I thought that was a great idea. I suggested we could also head to the downtown library to pick up so new books. Nice plan for both of us.
As we drove to the puppet show, my son and I had a conversation.
“Momma, I want to get a book on making puppets at the library.” – Little Boy
“That is a good idea. We will go to the children’s section at the library, it will have books on how to make things for kids. I want to get a book about making felt stories. Then you and I can create more felt stories to use for you felt board.” – Me
“Yeah, felt stories are my favorite. You read the words and I do the parts of the story. Momma, when will I read the words?” – Little Boy
“Well, you already know your letters, so it won’t be long. Maybe when you go to kindergarten you will start to read some words.” – Me
“Oh. When do I go to kindergarten?” – Little Boy
“This fall. You have to be five and your birthday is coming soon. After the summer, you will be able to go.” – Me
“I can’t wait to go the kindergarten. I will be a big boy won’t I?” – Little Boy
I looked into the rearview window at my son. His sweet face was smiling. I could tell he was thinking about being bigger and going to school. I started to think about him leaving for school in the fall. Suddenly, I felt very sad. I realized how much I was going to miss him…really miss him.
Since my little son’s arrival over four years ago, we have been inseparable. Every where I go, he has gone too. He can always be seen in my arms, holding my hand or running in front of me. Unless he is at preschool, he is with me.
Some mothers cannot wait for kindergarten to start. I have never been one of those moms. I remember years ago, when my oldest son was ready to start school. He was very excited. I was not.
“Momma, I am going to school soon. I can not wait to go the big boy school.” – Old Boy
“Yes, sweetie. You will be gone all day. I sure will miss you buddy.” – Me
“Don’t worry, Momma. I will be home in the evenings. You will see me every night.”- Old Boy
The thought of only seeing my oldest son, only a few hours in the evening did not sit well with me. I would no longer be able to eat lunch with him, take him fun places or just hang out around the house. I briefly considered homeschooling my oldest son, but he wanted to go to school. When he finally did leave for kindergarten, my heart hurt. I missed him.
I believe the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become. Since I have spent so much time with my boys, especially when they were little, I feel very close to them. I have plenty of days when they drive me crazy, but since I know them so well, I understand them.
My little son and I pulled into the puppet theater parking lot. I turned around and looked at him. He is almost five. Five years has gone by so very fast. It is amazing how many parents cannot wait for the next milestone to arrive for their child, without realizing once a child moves on…they cannot go back.
I unbuckled my son’s car seat and gave him a big hug. My eyes filled with tears. My little son has brought me so much joy. My little son noticed my tears and asked what was wrong.
“Momma, why are you sad? We are going to the puppet show. It is your favorite thing to do.” – Little Boy
“You’re right buddy. Going to the puppet show is my favorite thing. I am crying because I am so happy that I have you, to go with me.” – Me
“Don’t you worry, Momma. You are my best friend. Best friends always do things together. I love you, Momma.” – Little Boy
“Thank you sweetie. You are my best buddy too. Come on. Let’s head to the show.” – Me
We went to the show, lunch and the library. It was a wonderful day. Maybe the best of days.
I am sure going to miss my little buddy.
If sending my son to kindergarten is this hard, imagine what sending the boys to college will be like. Thank goodness I have a few more years until I have to do that.
Aww, so sweet! I have a feeling sending my littlest one will be much harder for me to do. I’ve never really been sad to see my big boy grow up, but I am empathetic to those who are. It’s a hard part of being a parent, for sure. I just love letting him go off to do amazing things all on his own, and then seeing the absolute joy when we are together again in the evenings. And I’m thankful that we are able to (for now) finally have me staying home with our youngest and therefore I’m able to see my son off to school and be there to pick him up the moment he’s finished. My mom and I had a wonderful bond (and still do) but she worked late hours (until 6ish) due to my dad being disabled and not able to work, and I always envied my friends who had a mom that was able to be there as soon as they got off the bus, while I walked home to my dad. I love my dad, but I always wanted my mom there. I’m SO grateful to give that to my sons.
My mother also worked full time and was a single parent. I always wanted to be home for my boys something my mom was not able to do. I am glad we both are able to relive our childhoods a bit with our boys. Still…I will miss my buddy.
You moms are a funny bunch. I get that you will miss him and that it is a step in his growing up but come on. Toughen up there.
My youngest is starting kinderdarden this year as well. Good for him. He is so ready. It sounds like your son is too. I get that it is harder for you as you spend so much time with him. I also think you may have a different perspective because of your older boys. They are in a much different stage of life and you know the younger is headed there too.
I am mush around my family. I love them so. But little children have always been my passion. I am happiest surrounded by their sweet souls. I am a sap. What can I say?
Nothing. That is very cool – they’re lucky to have you.
You will both adjust. Be thankful he isn’t one of those kids who cling to their mother’s leg and have a tantrum, or cry in fear, when left at school. He sounds happy, well adjusted, and very ready to take on the whole situation. I have always acknowledged that it is much harder on the parents than on most kids to make that transition. Same thing when kids go off to university. I don’t know how many of my freshmen dropped out after one term because they simply could not face the world without mommy and daddy to take care of them. (Don’t get me started on helicopter parents.)
Just think, you might actually have time for lunch with your husband or friends. Read in peace, one of the books you have never had time to read. Or go back to bed for a nap. Then when he gets home, it will be wonderful to listen to him talk about his day.
I made it through with my two older boys, I know I will make it with my little guy too. I will admit the time alone part sure sound great. It has been years since, I have had any extended time to myself. Thanks for the reminider.
oh God are you in trouble… you tender soul. Wait til old boy goes to college….your super mama love is shining through. Hang on
College is not far away. I hope I will make it. Yes, I am a hugger, gusher and a sensitive soul. At times it causes great heartache. But most of the time it allows me to feel tremendous love.
This brought back so many memories.
When you have your kids with you, you’re never alone.
I remember the first time I had to do something alone that we’d all done together before.
Thank you for your kind words. I will be fine…I think.