Tags
marriage, Middle age, Midlife, Midlife crisis, Parenting, Relationships, Trying something different, Woman, women
Last week, a friend of mine posted an article on Facebook. The article, discussed how forty-year old women are “behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters”. Fed up with the boring day-to-day routines of life they are shaking things up. Women my age are going out and partying hard like they did in their college days.
If you had asked me if this type of behavior was occurring a few years ago, I would have laughed. I did not know of anyone engaging in ‘wild’ forty year old behavior. However, I am not laughing now. Over the last couple of years I have seen more and more women my age, acting like my college buddy roommates.
Several years ago a friend told me she no longer wanted to be married. After twenty years, she said she was tired of being the responsible one. As primary breadwinner of the home, she also did most of the cooking, shopping and helping the kids with school work. She figured if she were single, at least she would not have to care for her husband and would be able to have more time to herself. Her husband would be forced to help care for the children more.
My friend did leave the marriage and went wild. Suddenly, she began partying with other single women. She changed her wardrobe from respectable to hoochy momma. Instead of spending her free time volunteering at her children’s school, she went traveling with friends. The change was dramatic. At times I hardly recognized the gal I once used to have coffee with, as our children played in my backyard.
The behavior of today’s forty-year old woman is what one would expect from a man the same age going through a mid-life crisis. I think women today also go through a similar ‘life questioning period’. About the age of forty, men and women begin to wonder where their life is going and more importantly, “Is this all ? Do I want to spend the next half of my life doing what I am doing now?”
The mid-life crisis is no longer reserved just for men. Many women earn more money than their husbands, but they still do most of the work at home. Over time, the responsibility is overwhelming. Becoming reckless is one way for women to relieve stress. However, it is not just female heads of households who are going wild. Nice full-time home moms are getting crazy too.
When the article posted on Facebook, several women commented how they did not believe the craziness was occurring. If you have not witnesses women in their forties getting loose, you are most likely not in your forties or hang with a conservative crowd. I know several women my age who no longer want the status quo. They want more from life then endless hours of work, laundry and homework.
I used to be judgemental of older women who behaved irresponsibly, but that was before I turned forty and realized caring for a family is a lot of work. As much as I love my kids, I often envy childless couples who do not worry about immunizations or college savings. I think it is normal to feel overwhelmed at times caring for others and to want to escape.
Have I gone a little overboard at times, acting like a young gal in my twenties? Yes I have. And I can tell you it was a lot of fun.
However, when the fun was over I was happy to return back to my everyday life. I love my family. I like having someone to eat dinner with every night. Even if it means I have to cook it.
This is a statement that needed to be made….very true, very real
Thank you. I am a real kind of gal.
I think I liked it better when a woman’s mid-life crisis made her want to contribute MORE to the world – rather than just make her throw her panties at a male stripper.
I agree with you, Nancy. However, you and I may be some of the few who agree.
I’ll keep my very vanilla conservative lifestyle.. I love my steady eddy and humble home. Great thought provoking post– well said and well written. Thank you for voicing it.
Thank you for your comment and for reading. I have lot on my mind these days…guess this post reflects it.
Interesting piece. I think your reasoning regarding this behavior makes sense.
Thank you for reading and for your comment.
Cook it and then do the dishes afterward… I understand the impulse to want to escape the ongoing responsibilities of wife and motherhood. Not ready for the wild side yet – work helps give me some grownup time before the second shift starts.
Some people never do need or see the wild side. My wild side was in college. I think I got it out of system.
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