Tags
conversation, Family, French fries, Humor, Mother, My Boys, Parenting
Motherhood has been full of surprises. The amount of yelling I do as a mom, was a surprise. The lack of food in my house when the boys turned into teens, was a surprise. However, the biggest surprise is the things I say to my boys. I cannot believe the stuff that flies out of my mouth sometimes.
Ten things I Never Thought I Would Say to My Kids.
1. Go away.
I always envisioned spending time with my kids. However, sometimes I get sick of them. I tell them leave me alone.
2. Knock it off.
My husband says this more than I, but we both say it. Kids do stupid stuff. Sometimes they need to be told to stop.
3. Move your big butt.
No one in my family has a big butt, but sure feels good telling them they do.
4. You stink.
The boys stink. End of story.
5. Eat your french fries or no dessert.
I have said this ridiculous statement hundreds of times. Usually they are not eating and I want them to eat something. French fries are better than nothing right?
6. What planet are you from?
Honestly, I do not know where the kids pick up their strange behaviors. Mars or Saturn?
7. You can have ice cream for breakfast.
I have said this more than once. Milk and sugar…what is not to like?
8. Stop being a jerk.
This is not very nice, but if the shoe fits.
9. What is all this crap?
My boys have so much crap. It gets out of control sometimes, so I let them know.
10. Stop talking.
I say this everyday. In my house someone is always talking. I can’t take it. They don’t listen, but I tell them anyway.
I guess I am out of the running for ’Best Mom of the Year’ award after confessing to saying all this, right?
Ah, well. I still have my day job.
Wait. Being a mom is my day job.
I am screwed.
you are just keeping it real. I like that you talk that way to your kids. I do too. I do feel the most guilty when I wish they would be quiet. What is all this crap is my most repeated saying…
Stop talking is number one. The boys fight to be heard all the time. Makes me nuts. I am real, but I thought I would be less real than my mom. Oh well. I love my mom.
Number 5! As the words come out of my mouth I realized that I have somehow wandered far, far away from my ideals.
Here I buy organic everything and I tell my little son to gobble french fries. Groan.
You’re in good company.
I have no kids, but the other day, I actually found myself saying to the cats. “That better not be fighting I hear.” I’ve become my mother.
Cats are just furry children. They need a mother too. We all sound like our moms after a while. Sadly we do not say the good stuff they said.
Stop talking! Oh my, I swear my 5YO can rattle off a thousand questions per hour! Now that I stay at home with him, I have to say this a couple times a day. Or at least ask him to go play in his room for a bit. And knock it off. Especially when he’s jumping across the room and comes within inches of his baby brother having tummy time on the floor, and I’ve already asked him to please stop jumping… Knock it off, son!! Oh my, you and me both are in the losing side of that award, sister!
Yup. We say a lot of crazy stuff the parenting book does not recommend. The books do not have to live with our kids though.
I thought the list was going to be worse. I still would have you in the running. I say shut up way too often.
My mother forbid shut up as a child. I say it in my head. I often add, “Shut the #&@% up”. Nice Catholic girl you know.
See – you should still be eligible for the award.
I don’t like saying it – not proud – but it is what it is.
hahahahahahaha–especially the ending: I am screwed.
I am screwed. Do the best I can though.
My list is much worse… I apoligise to my girls A LOT. I think you are still in the running… I think No nasty name calling or swearing at them (under your breath is totally fine haha)… Everthing else has its place lol
I work really hard NOT to swear in front of the boys. I hate to hear it, so I don’t do it. However, under my breath…all the time.
Anyone who says that they don’t say these sort of things to their kids is either a liar or takes a whole lot of Xanax.