INSANITY OF MOTHERHOOD motherhood midlife madness

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…


Win Some. Lose Some.

A conversation between a preschool teacher and preschool students.


Teacher is sitting on floor building blocks with children.

Mrs. M. How old are you?” – Boy Student

“I’m 51 years old.” – Teacher

“Oh.  Okay.” – Boy Student

“Why do you ask?  How old did you think I was?” – Teacher

“Same age as my mom.” – Boy Student

“Oh.  How old is your, Mom?” – Teacher

“She’s 33.  I thought you were younger than she was.” – Boy Student


Teacher sitting at table outdoors coloring with children.  Preschool student is looking at teacher’s photo on name badge.

“Mrs. M. Is that a picture of you?” – Girl Student

“Yes it is.” – Teacher

“Why doesn’t it look like you?” – Girl Student

“Well, maybe the photo has different lighting.  Don’t you think the photo looks like me?” – Teacher

“No.  You have a lot more wrinkles in real life.” – Girl Student

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Mom Says It Again

The other night at dinner Tall Boy sprung the news to my husband and I his school had an open house the next night.  My reaction wasn’t one of joy.

“Mom, open house for school is tomorrow.” – Tall Boy

“Really? I don’t remember seeing the email.  That’s too bad.” – Mother

“You always say that, Mom.” – Tall Boy

“Say what?” – Mother

“Say, that’s too bad”.  – Tall Boy

“No, I don’t”. –  Mother

“Yes you do”. – Tall Boy

“You do, Mom”. – Little Boy

“You have a bunch of things you say all the time.  You repeat the same sayings over and over.” – Old Boy

“What are you talking about?  What do I say over and over?” – Mother

For the next half hour at dinner the family proceeded tell me quotes I use on a daily basis.  Every mother has a few quotes to be remembered by, but apparently I have more than the average mom.  This morning when I woke up my husband kindly (or not so kindly) left a list of my quotes for my on the counter.  Ten quotes isn’t too many is it?

That’s too bad.

I say this one a lot.  It’s used when I’m not happy.

“Mom, Dad said to tell you the washing machine is broken.”

Stop talking.

This quote is used when my boys won’t stop talking.  It’s self explanatory.

Stay calm.

When I feel frazzled I use the quote to remind myself what I need to do.  I used this excessively teaching the teenagers to drive.


This is another quote to show my unhappiness for a situation.

“The guys will be over soon for a sleepover, Mom.”

Stop bothering those people.

This wonderful quote isn’t an original of mine.  My husband overheard a mother saying it to her annoying son while waiting in line at LEGOLAND.  I use it to remind my boys to be good in public.  Not sure who “those people” are though.

The thing is…

Here’s another stolen quote.  This one comes from my older sister.  She says this all the time to explain a situation.  I use it to explain things too.

“The thing is…money doesn’t grow on trees.  Dad and I don’t have money to hand out when you waste your money on new muscle shirts.”


All mothers say this quote.  This one is used mainly for my little son.  I remind him to stay on task and get the job done.

Hubble up.

A morning routine saying.  This one means, “Hurry up people or we’ll be late again.”

What’s happening in the land of ___________ grade?

I like this quote.  I say it instead of the usual, “How was your day at school?”  It has a fill in the blank section that makes it easy to say for multiple children.

Don’t forget about trash and recycling.

This quote is said everyday to Old Boy.  It’s his job to take out the trash and recycling and he never remembers.  I do a daily reminder for him.  He hates this quote, but if he did his job I wouldn’t need to remind him.

I’m sorry to hear about that.

Another one of my “I’m not happy to hear that” quotes.

“Mom, we are out of toilet paper again.”

Mom’s are supposed to have famous quotes.  Years from now when I am gone they’ll have happy memories of their mother’s sayings.  At least I hope they’re happy memories.  If they don’t that’s too bad.


Another Try

Last week I received my grade for the administration course I took over the summer.  I got an A.  While an A may not be a big deal for some, for me it’s a huge accomplishment. As a matter of fact, I have gotten all A’s since I re enrolled in college a year ago.

My previous college experience was filled with learning, but most of the learning came in the form of “life experiences”. Although I wanted to be successful at college, I never was.  As I look back at college grades I wish I knew now what I didn’t know then.  The truth is I didn’t know how to be a good student.  It would be easy for me to blame a number of other things on my lack luster grades, but I won’t. Not until recently did I realize the value of truly learning the information I was studying.  Getting an A in class is more than a grade.  It’s a reflection of effort and with that effort comes learning.

Being hard of hearing had an influence on my college experience.  Lecture classes weren’t a good fit for me.  When required to sit in a class and listen to a lecture my focus was on making sure I heard the information correctly. Sadly, often I didn’t.  I often heard things incorrectly or not at all.  Getting hearing aids in college was helpful, but still it was a struggle.

I became successful with my career despite having mediocre grades in college.  I worked hard and took a hands on approach to learning.  My system worked for many years.  However, when I returned to work, after being home for many years, one thing that changed in my field was each time you apply for a job you must supply a copy of your college transcripts.  Years ago this wasn’t the case.  Back then I provided employers a copy of my resume and references, but never transcripts.

Handing over my transcripts from a college has always been uncomfortable  The grades from years ago don’t represent the person I am today. When I applied for my most recent job I did something I’ve never done before.  I handed over two sets of transcripts.  One set reflected the student I was thirty years ago and the other reflected the student I am today.  I told my new employer I am not the young college student from 30 years ago.  I shared what I’ve learned over the years, my values, and what I had to offer.  I told them the second set of transcripts reflects the person I am today, a person who is capable of being a strong student.

My approach worked.  I got the job.  The way a person looks on paper doesn’t always reflect who the person really is. I knew I had things to offer an employer, but a piece of paper reflected otherwise.

Now I have a new piece of paper that reflects something different…my willingness to learn new things, continue to grow and to try again.


Guy Talk

A conversation between a mother and a little boy.

Mother and little boy are sitting on carpet.  Little boy is putting on his shoes.

I can’t get my shoes on.  It hurts.” – Little Boy

Mother looks at shoes.

“They’re too small.  We’ll need to pick up some new ones this weekend.” – Mother

“We need to get some new underwear too.  I want to start wearing boxers.”- Little Boy

“Excuse me?  Boxers?  You mean boxer briefs?” – Mother

“Yeah.  I don’t want to wear underwear anymore.  I want to wear boxers.” – Little Boy

“Really?  Why?” – Mother

“I’m big now.  I’m the only one who lives here and still wears underwear.” – Little Boy

“I wear underwear.  I live here.” – Mother

“You’re a girl, Mom.  Girls wear underwear and men wear boxers.  I’m not a baby anymore.  It’s time.” – Little Boy

“You will always be my baby”.  – Mother

Mother kisses little boy on the head.

You mean no cartoon characters on your underwear anymore?” – Mother

“Well… maybe we can find some boxers with superheros on them.  That would still be cool, right? – Little Boy

“Yeah, it’s cool.  Maybe I could get some too?” – Mother

“Mom, don’t talk about wearing boxers.  It’s guy talk.” – Little Boy


Doing What Matters Most

I’ve enrolled in summer school.  Summer school goes against everything summer is supposed to be about.  The reason I signed up for summer school is so I can finish my college course work earlier. It seemed like a good idea when I signed up, but now that I’m doing the work I’m not sure.

Six months ago I left my job.  I enrolled in college to finish educational requirements toward obtaining a child development permit to further my career.  The class I’m taking this summer is the last of the administration classes needed for the permit.  However, instead of looking for work, I’ve decided to continue with more child development classes.

Not looking for work wasn’t a decision I made lightly.  Our family is able to manage on one income, but it’s not easy.  Each month we make decisions financially on things we can and can’t pay for.  If I work things would be easier financially.   I’d like to work, but finding a job that fits the needs of my family and myself is proving difficult.

I’ve looked for work since I left the old job.  I’ve had several interviews and job offers.  However, each time I need to make a decision whether to take the job, something doesn’t seem right.  My gut instinct tells me it would cause more stress than it’s worth.  Although my family doesn’t have the money we’d like, but our stress level is lower and overall we are happier.

My instincts have rarely led me astray.  The times I haven’t listened to it is when I usually get in trouble.  My gut says to wait until my youngest son is older or find a job that’s flexible enough to support his needs.  If I was the mother of only two teenagers and didn’t have a little eight year old boy, I’d be working.  I like working and I’m good at it.  But being available for my little child is more important. Not everyone has the opportunity to be able to be home for their child. I’m blessed to be able to have an option.

The truth is, childhood goes fast..alarmingly fast.  Old Boy leaves for college in a few weeks and I still think of him as a little boy in the stroller, at the zoo.  I’ve been fortunate to have been home each day to care for him.  I’m glad I had the opportunity.  Any sacrifices I’ve made have been worth it.  I’m willing to do the same for Little Boy.

I would have never predicted eighteen years ago I would be doing the same job, but it’s a good job.  Maybe the best job and to me I’m doing work that what matters most.

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A conversation between a teenager and a mother.

Mother walks out of bathroom.  Mother picks up cell phone.  Mother reads text messages from teenage son.

“Hey, Mom.  Can I head to the beach with friends today?” – Tall Boy

“Hello?” – Tall Boy

“Hellloooo?”  Tall Boy

“Yo answer ur phone.  Its not that hard.” – Tall Boy

Mother glares at phone.  Mother types text response.

“Yo.  I was in the bathroom drying my hair and my hearing aids were off.  I couldn’t hear the phone.” – Mother

“Oh. No damage.  Can I go?” – Tall Boy

“Yo, no” – Mother

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Leave it at That

A conversation between a mother and a teenage son.

Boy is sitting at computer.  Boy calls to mother to come near him.

Mom.  Mom, can you come here?” – Tall Boy

“I’m cooking dinner right now.  Can you wait?” – Mother

“No.  It’s important.  I want to show you something.” – Tall Boy

“How important?  If it’s one of those motorized car videos I will pass.”  – Mother

“No, it’s something else.  Come on, Mom.” – Mother

“Okay.  Jeez. ” – Mother

Mother walks over to son.  Mother looks at son.

Well?” – Mother

“Look.” – Tall Boy

Son points to computer screen.  Mother looks at computer screen.

Are those your grades?” – Mother

Yes.” – Tall Boy

“Wow. That’s amazing.  Good for you.”- Mother

“Thanks, Mom.” – Tall Boy

I want you to know your Dad and I are very proud of you.  You’ve come a long way.  Things weren’t always easy for you or for us, but now look at you.  We support you 100%.  Well, almost 100%.  I guess it’s more like 95%, because if you get arrested and go to jail we won’t support you.  We expect you to stay out of jail and be an honorable citizen. So, don’t screw up.  Stay the path you’re on now and things will be fine.  Better than fine.  They’ll be great.  Super great.  College is coming soon, so do your best.  Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” – Mother

Mother kisses son on the head.

“Um…thanks, Mom.  I think.  Next time I show you my grades could you just say well done and leave it at that?” – Tall Boy


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